Super Smash Bros

My intrepid husband, Bob, and our youngest son, Erik, are off to Camp Thunderbird for two nights.  Camp Thunderbird is a fifth grade rite of passage; young campers blow off steam and bunk together in cabins before leaving elementary school behind for the trials of middle school.  Bob was a chaperone for this adventure two years ago with our oldest son, Alex, and plays an adult in the cabin for Erik's trip this year. 

This leaves my oldest son Alex to look after his aging mother and keep her out of trouble.  Alex will achieve the distinction of teenager this spring, and Bob gave him explicit instructions to engage me in some recreational activities to keep me away from the torrent of work email that I slog through on most evenings.  Having Alex at home without Bob and Erik is something like having two bachelors in the house; neither of us need much maintenance or care and we both are accustomed to riding the wave of conversation and entertainment from Bob and Erik.

Alex and I had a lovely dinner tonight (if I do say so myself), and Alex explained the pact he had made with his father.  My oldest son's analysis of how to keep his Mother entertained came down to whether it would be more difficult to teach me how to play DODA (Defense Of The Ancients, a spin off of World of Warcraft), or Super Smash Bros (a Nintendo Wii game).  We settled on Super Smash Bros as the easier game, given my mental blocks with most computer based games.  For some reason I have obstacles using a computer for recreation and only recently learned how to play and enjoy Fruit Ninja.  I may be the only person on the planet who has not played Angry Birds.

I was somewhat anxious about playing Super Smash Bros.   In normal play my two sons annihilate each other without prejudice, and the idea of playing the game at that level is a bit intimidating.  Alex turned out to be a great instructor; he let me pick a character (I picked Pikachu - I miss the Pokémon days), and he explained how to move and attack using the Wii controller.  Once I could operate a character, Alex suggested that we just play and forget about the goal to battle and kill each other, although I accidentally killed him a few times and won the first round.  Hooray for Mom!  I think?

In the second and third rounds I picked different characters and we played more than we battled, picking up different tools and weapons and laughing at the aftermath when we fired.  I didn't know what I was doing, but it was fun, I think?  I accidentally killed Alex a few times, and due to the nature of the game he wound up asking me to go ahead and kill him a few times.  Hooray for Mom!  I think?

It was getting late and time for bed; Alex relieved me of my lesson and made the observation that it was funny to play with me because I didn't like to kill him.  Whenever I accidentally killed him, I involuntarily exclaimed 'Oh, I'm sorry!'.  Thinking back on it though, I don't think he came after me once - so maybe he found it difficult to kill Mom.  Hooray for Mom!  I think?

Tomorrow night maybe we'll play cards...

Coming up for air...

Creating the title for a blog or a new post is part of the fun. The title 'Coming up for air' is a better description of this moment than the content of the post, but it seems appropriate for a post about titles. I've been drowning in the adventures of life and work since finishing my MBA, and wondering if I'd ever have time to blog again. The title 'Coming up for air' describes a moment, not content, not me. Titles are tricky that way.

At work, titles can be useful in some professions and more trouble than they are worth in others. In IT, titles almost never tell you anything about the skills and experience a person has or what that person might bring to the table. Even if someone has a 'senior' or 'managerial' title, does that mean they merely rose to the top in an environment that used out of date technology or manual processes? How does that seniority bring value in a role that requires rapid learning and adoption of new technologies?  What does some one's title really tell you in IT?

Don't get me wrong, I understand the social utility of a title and have asked for my fair share of important sounding titles (yes, I have an ego too).  As an IT consultant, a senior title is a marketing tool - it gives the customer the impression that the consulting company has sent you one of their best people (well, one of the best titled people).  I embraced the utility of titles as an IT consultant and did benefit from the marketing value. I was a technology mercenary, and did not have any trouble wearing the uniform (and the title) of the army for which I marched.

Within a corporate IT organization, it's less clear that IT titles really add much value. There could be a parallel to consulting titles for those IT roles that have face to face interaction with end users inside a company, but end users don't usually pay attention to the title of the person who resolves an issue. Titles might also have some value if they really reflected a person's responsibilities, but as a person who is responsible for multiple projects and systems, it's really hard to come up with any meaningful title in IT these days.  Technology has changed rapidly, and 'typical' IT titles have not kept up.

Titles in corporate IT do have meaning; I'm just questioning whether the meaning has much value.  Your title can quickly give people throughout the organization an instant understanding of your expected relative importance and authority. But, not everyone with a senior title delivers that expected value to the organization.  A person's title can also indicate their relative value within a department - for example, if three people report to manager X, while two of the people have Senior titles and the third does not, there is a natural conclusion that the third person has less responsibility or experience, or delivers less value.  But, the seniority implied by some one's title is fragile.  Eventually, the impressions are either backed up, or contradicted, by what the individual delivers to the organization.  If someone with an important title 'flips the bozo bit', their formal title does not matter.

Looking back at my own career, I've had some nice formal (boring) titles: Architect (twice), Director, Advisory Programmer, Vice President (once with a 'Senior' embellishment), Manager of this or that a couple of times.  In managing my career, I now have to be careful of whether my past titles might make me look 'overqualified' or 'non technical'.  What a pain.  For the first half of a technical career you fight for titles, and the second half you try to escape them, like some kind of handcuffs.  Fortunately, I've been able to find roles that allow me to enjoy learning about and applying technology where I don't need the 'instant authority' of a title in order to get things done.  If the company I work for sees utility in a particular title, I wear the uniform, title, and authority of the army I choose to march for.  Regardless of my title, I am comfortable working through influence, communication, and knowledge when I don't have formal authority based on a title.  I manage people, but don't need the word 'Manager' in my title in order to do that.

The more interesting titles I've had are the informal names that I've been called along the way: Queen of the Island of Misfit Toys, Agent of Change, Cleaner (as in the Harvey Keitel character in Pulp Fiction), Counselor Troy (although trust me, I do not look anything like Harvey Keitel or Counselor Troy).  I've been called a few other names I can't publish here, but none as interesting as one I've been called twice now in my career: 'Mom'.  In my first job as a software development team lead at IBM, the team started calling me Mom; it's come up again in the past couple of years. Talk about having a high level of influence without formal authority; who needs formal authority when nobody likes to disappoint Mom?  I do enjoy working with organizations that are evolving and maturing, or 'growing up', so maybe I am something of an organizational Mom.

Maybe we should stop worrying about titles in IT and give everyone some kind of avatar instead.  What kind of avatar would I choose for myself, and what would our organization chart look like if all the boxes were replaced with avatars of the roles that were needed in the organization?  Or what if we chose the avatars for all the people we worked with; our own custom view of the individuals on our teams?  We can pick ring tones for people, so why not avatars?  Or, maybe we should all adopt position names instead of titles, something like a football team.  Being a member of the 'Special Teams' squad sounds interesting.  I can hear my friends in HR groaning now. 

At the end of the day, the company I work for does not exist to make me happy about what I'm called; they need to return value to the shareholders (of which I am one).  For that, I'm happy to wear the uniform, title and authority of the army I march for.  When I want to fuss over a title, I just create a new blog post and give it any title I choose.

Happy New Year!

Commencing

To commence is to begin.

I'd never thought about it before - the ceremony that marks the end of years of study, homework and exams is called commencement.  Not the end, but the beginning...

A little over three years ago, I decided to take the GMAT (Graduat Management Admission Test) and apply to UNC Charlotte's Belk College of Business as an MBA student.  I thought an MBA would bring some closure to a thread in my career.  After three years of night school, I can say that I've sorted things out, so I do have a sense of closure or completion.  But, at the same time, I'm 'commencing' not finishing.  Time to get on with things-

Towards the end of my final semester the university issued a call for student commencement speakers; all graduating students (undergraduate, graduate, and PhD candidates) were eligible to submit a draft five minute speech.  I took them up on the offer, and made the 'short list', but the panel chose a young undergraduate who was a bit less jaded...  She was an excellent speaker; I admit that it was nice to see a young face at the podium, looking out on her horizion as a freshly minted graduate.

But, I did enjoy taking the time to write down a five minute perspective on my journey as an MBA student - my unspoken commencement speech is below:

Today I will receive my Masters Degree in Business Administration from the Belk College of Business. I started the program three years ago in January, as an evening student and working mother of two. My two sons, Alex and Erik, ages nine and seven, and their father Bob are here today so I want to thank them for getting by without Mommy for two nights a week for the past three years. You guys are the best!

I’ve worked in Technology for over 25 years now, beginning my career as a software engineer at IBM, and working for many other companies along the way. Like most people in technology, I like to figure out how things work, and that’s what led me to the MBA program. A little over three years ago, I managed a large IT team for a company that had grown through acquisitions to be third largest in its industry. I was part of the M&A team, and evaluated our acquisitions’ technology assets and contracts.  As a result, in early 2006 my husband and I stood on skis at the rim of the back bowls at Aspen, along with a private ski guide provided by our generous hosts, Bear Stearns, to celebrate the close of a successful deal.  You may have heard that Bear Stearns is no longer hosting these types of events...

Later that spring, the company’s stock fell 75% in a single day, and let’s just say life got interesting. I was just an IT manager, and even though I managed our operational and financial systems I didn’t really understand the company’s finances.  After things got just a little too interesting, I left the company and decided to go back to school and get my MBA to figure out ‘what happened’.

 I think that being curious, or in my case, having a desire to ‘figure something out’ and a time based goal are great motivators.  I didn’t pursue my MBA because I wanted to ‘be something’, like a financial analyst. I started the program because I wanted to learn something, and figure out how companies manage their finances (or don’t).  My success comes from my own knowledge and understanding, and is not dependent on getting a job with a particular title.  Believe me, it’s always nice to get a job in your desired field, but having a job doesn’t define me, and not having one doesn’t take away my success.

As for my achievements and activities as a student, I’m thrilled to graduate with highest honors today.  For my sons Alex and Erik in the audience, this means I got a lot of A’s!  I owe some of that to my goals, which kept me focused.  I wrote several of my term papers about the company that inspired me to get my MBA, and I do think I’ve ‘figured things out’.  I also have to thank my parents for passing along some of their intelligence; my GMAT scores resulted in merit scholarships, and I am very grateful to UNC Charlotte for those awards.  Through the Belk College, I volunteered as a student escort for business leaders who taped a panel discussion with Charlie Rose called ‘Southern Roots, Global Vision’, interviewed Erkine Bowles, and had breakfast with Cynthia Marshall, President of AT&T Carolinas.  I took advantage of career coaching, and gained a whole new circle of friends with all sorts of backgrounds, from all sorts of industries.  I’ve enjoyed every minute of it all.

In closing, I’m not sure you really need to hear more advice from someone who may be old enough to be your Mother (or who is your Mother, for Erik and Alex), but I can share something that I learned from watching my two sons play online role playing games, one of their favorite pastimes. In their online adventure games, there’s always another quest, and always another level.  Sometimes the only thing you need to do is stay in the game, and another quest appears.  And, the only way to get to the next level is to stay in the game.  I’m now off to my next quest, and hope to see many of you again in my travels.  Thank you for your time – thank you UNC Charlotte, and congratulations graduates!

Let the wild rumpus begin!

Ada Lovelace Day

I'm dusting off the blog for Ada Lovelace Day - fulfilling my pledge to join bloggers around the world in appreciation of women who excel in technology.

As a woman who has enjoyed a loooong career in technology, I'm taking this moment to say thank you to all the women I've worked with over the years. I can't think of a single one who isn't exemplary. In the crazy-quilt tapestry of my technical career, the women I've worked with have all been exceptional, few and far between, the sparkle in the fabric.

Before I get to these fabulous women, one short detour to thank two men who are responsible for my own membership in the community of women in technology...

I count the beginning of my career as my 1981 internship with IBM, in Poughkeepsie, New York. My courses in mechanical drafting (the pencil and T-square kind) landed me an internship with the Mechanical Design Automation group, which set standards for mechanical design work done within IBM. The move to Computer Aided Design (CAD) was underway, and I set about learning to produce isometric views of widgets on a 2D drafting package called CADAM, produced by Lockheed. I also learned to write documentation using the tag language GML (a precursor to SGML and XML), blithely unaware of the future of these fun tools and toys I was tinkering with.

No women worked with me during my internship, and to be honest I didn't really notice. My future as a woman in technology was cemented one morning when I was happily typing some GML tagged documentation at the green screen in front of me. A senior staff member walked up behind me and asked if I would enter (type) a large stack of paper documentation into the system for him. Even after all these years I distinctly remember furrowing my brow for a moment, then I smiled and took the paper from him.

Later that day I stopped by my manager's office and stammered a request to ask him a question. He asked me what was on my mind, and I told him that I'd been asked to do some typing... and I wasn't sure if that was the type of assignment I should be working on. I can't remember exactly what I said after that, but I know it involved a reference to my Dad and that he didn't send me to IBM to type for people...

The senior staff member was summoned to the office, given a lecture about handing off typing to the college intern, and the stack of paper disappeared. I can still remember my mixed feelings of shock and awe at the outcome. I will never forget Dick Merrill for that moment in my early career - it gave me the tiny seed of the ego I would need to continue my career in technology for the coming decades. It goes without saying that I will never forget Dad as well, for the inspiration to speak up (and for building me a little drafting table when I was young).

My internship came to a close, and I was determined to finish my degree as quickly as possible and go right back to IBM. I landed in Sterling Forest, New York, as a mainframe product programmer for IBM's computer integrated manufacturing products. I was the only woman programmer in my department for the first few years of my career, but I remember looking up to Helene, who managed another development team in our area, and Pat, who was a senior programmer in yet another department. Oh, and Beverly, our 'code librarian'... in those days the librarian was an actual person who administered the source code control system. Once we submitted our batch compiler jobs and verified everything was working as designed, we dutifully handed our listings over to Beverly for filing.

The military discipline of product development at IBM gave me a solid grounding in software engineering. IBM also put me through nearly 560 hours of classroom training on programming, system internals, and team development that I still think of as 'the basics' to this day. But, in the early 90's IBM offered to buy out employees who were willing to depart, and I was young and footloose enough to take the money and run.

My path from IBM led to the 'shrink wrap' PC software industry, and I joined MapInfo Corporation in 1992 just prior to the IPO of the company. Again, although they were few and far between, I was in the company of some extraordinary women - Kim, Sharon, Marilyn, Elizabeth-

The burst of tech IPOs led me straight into the tech bubble in the mid 90's, when I moved to Boston with my husband and joined the technology wing of a management consulting company, Renaissance Solutions. Companies like Renaissance and Boston Consulting Group were changing the way that software was delivered to corporate America. Rapid prototyping, iterative development, 'agile'... aggressive, sometimes visionary. Bringing together young Harvard MBA's and bright technical types (like me!) made for a whirlwind learning experience with Fortune 500 companies (Lucent, Monsanto, AT&T...) as our classrooms. I still keep in touch with Patty-

And, after awhile, I hung out my own shingle as 'Paul Software, Inc.' and enjoyed my Boston consulting circles and adventures in the tech bubble.

The end of the tech bubble led me to Microsoft; I joined the Microsoft's Financial Services Group as a senior consultant at the turn of the century. Given I'd made the switch from mainframe programming to shrink wrap PC products and Windows development at Renaissance, going to work for Microsoft was the ultimate career move for me. Again, the women were few and far between but all extraordinary in so many ways - powerful, capable, brilliant. Tracy, Patti, Natalie, and my dear friend and former manager, Kimberly.

But wait, there's more (goodness, I've been doing this a long time). Travel weary, I departed Microsoft in 2004 to pursue my first operational IT role, responsible for the business applications at a local reinsurance company, Scottish Re. I was also responsible, for the first time, for managing and mentoring some phenomenal younger women in technology. And, for the first time after over 20 years in my field I saw the benefits of working with a truly diverse team of both men and women in IT. Heather, Melandee, Tonya, Emily, Joyce, Abigale, Catherine, Jasmina, Shri, Paula...

I learned so much from them all.

Scottish Re was something of a bellwether for the current economy, with M&A activity orchestrated by Bear Stearns, and substantial investments in securities based on subprime loans. I departed as the stock tanked, inspired to go back to school for my MBA to make sense of it all, and to become more than 'just an IT person'. I've been in night school since then, and am on track to graduate at the close of this year.

Going back to school has been a fantastic (ok, grueling) experience. It's amazing to see the young, and not so young, women in my finance and economics courses wielding Black-Scholes option pricing and statistical analysis tools in classes where women are finally not so few and far between. I'd like to thank all these women, too, because they're evidence that Ada Lovelace and all the extraordinary women who participate in technology have helped make it less extraordinary for women to apply themselves in any field.

Good grief, I'm only halfway through my career!

After giving roughly a decade to mainframe programming, and more to Microsoft platforms, we're now the proud owners of a Mac mini. I've set my sights on iPhone development (although my husband has now beat me to the punch by writing his first application for our sons' Nintendo DS handhelds). I just want to make sure I'm not 'just another MBA'.

And, heaven help me, I think my son wants to be a video game developer. When the time comes, I'll ask him to take a look at my alma mater, the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, where they have a terrific game development curriculum taught by the talented Dr. Tiffany Barnes.

Thank you, to all these women who have been such extraordinary inspirations, colleagues and friends-

Minsky Moments in IT

According to the Wall Street Journal (In Time of Tumult, Obscure Economist Gains Currency) we're having a Minsky moment in the financial markets: "...At its core, the Minsky view was straightforward: When times are good, investors take on risk; the longer times stay good, the more risk they take on, until they've taken on too much...". At some point, we're reminded that the odds are usually stacked against the gambler. Taking on too much risk, whether from buying more house than you can afford (or being coerced into doing so), or investing in high risk hedge funds for the promise of a 30% gain, is a gamble. It's seductive to fall back on natural optimism and believe that house prices and investments will continue to appreciate indefinitely, or that we'll see the drop coming in time to get out with assets in tact. The longer we're rewarded with gains, the more risk we're willing to take - until the bets are called in. A Minsky moment.

Minsky could have been a great IT executive. Of course, he would have helped us avoid the tech bubble of the late 90's, which was yet another example of his economic perspective. But, what if he had worked with the fledgling technology consulting industry during the 90's? Companies like Cambridge Technology Partners came alive during the bubble and changed the way that software was delivered to corporate America. I made the shift from being a 'product developer' to a 'high tech consultant' during these years. Looking back, the shift was largely about taking on more risk in technology delivery. Over the past fifteen years we've embraced so much risk in custom software delivery, it's no surprise we're seeing Minsky moments in corporate IT.

TIAA-CREF is currently in the midst of an IT Minsky moment SunGard, TIAA-CREF IT Slammed by Developers. It's not unusual to see executives and vendors begin to believe their own 'best case scenario', and willingly take on the risk of pushing code to production early (believing that it will just work, or issues can be patched post production). Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

I was very fortunate to be indoctrinated in software development discipline in the early 1980's at IBM, where I started my career as a mainframe product developer. At that time, most of the management team in my area were ex-military, and IBM put me through over 560 hours of classroom training in software development process, technology and team development. We had the luxury of 18 or 24 month product delivery cycles, but that time was well used - we had formal software estimation processes and extensive testing. Although we ran into and solved some very interesting problems, we had very little drama and few surprises. It was the complete antithesis of the high tech consulting I did in the 90's. From my perspective, custom software projects in corporate America are run more like hedge funds than military operations these days, so it's no surprise we're having Minsky moments in IT.

Do women hate IT? (what's to hate?)

Since all information, and most technology, comes with a point of view, here's mine:

• I'm female


• I've held technical jobs as a software product developer, technology consultant and IT manager over the past 25 years


• I've worked as an employee of Microsoft, and IBM (hoping for the trifecta by bagging a job at Red Hat someday)
  
• I compiled something today

So, I suppose this gives me a point of view on both Women and 'IT'. I see that there are quite a few other people who have views on this too, after reading comments on the Wall Street Journal Online edition article Do Women Hate IT?. What's all the fuss?

I don't know what people mean by the letters 'IT' these days. Does it mean you bang out source code for hours on end, while your keepers slide cold pizza under the door? Do you work with accountants and their arcane spreadsheet models in an effort to show them the wonders of data warehousing? Do you manage virtualized server farms with more compute power than most small countries? How can all these things pop into a woman's mind when she sees the letters 'IT', and, more important, how can Women possibly hate such a broad (no pun intended) concept? It's mind boggling. I certainly don't hate anything that falls under the umbrella of 'IT' these days, but I can't claim to represent all Women.

I don't want to get too philosophical here, but I'm not sure I know what 'hate' means in this context, either. I associate hatred with adrenaline and testosterone. Personally (not being privy to that much testosterone), I relate more to feelings of frustration, determination, creativity and optimism than hatred. I suppose that when a man writes about the declining ranks of women in technology fields it's natural for him to wonder if 'Women Hate IT', because hatred is natural in his point of view. After all, there are some awfully strong feelings about 'IT' out there - the linux community hates Microsoft (well, lots of people hate Microsoft), Steve Ballmer hates open source, hard core java programmers hate .NET. It's a testosterone driven industry.

As a woman, I view female brain drain in technology as a great loss. I'd like to think that a female author would treat the complex reasons for the exodus with some insight rather than boiling everything down to something as primal and thoughtless as hatred. "Women Hate IT" - that must be the answer.

I don't think classic 'IT' is a great career choice any more. The field is so broad that it requires specialization - as a programmer, infrastructure expert, security expert, networking expert, business intelligence analyst, program manager, sales support engineer, or any number of technology-related roles. Some of these jobs are more easily offshored than others, so if you like banging out code while someone slides pizza under the door, you compete with the masses in India and China. Likewise, if you make your living in 'corporate IT' you're better off as an an employee of IBM or EDS than a bank or retail business. Banks and large retailers outsource their buildings' electrical and plumbing maintenance, and 'IT' is going the way of the rest of the infrastructure. In my view, the best 'IT' jobs are in true software companies, where it really is a core business to create technology products.

Despite the challenges of 'IT', I do love technology. I play with databases and XML dialects and tinker with Silverlight to see if I think it's a viable contender to Flash. I help my kids make multimedia stories on Webkinz. I'm happy to live in a world where I can learn about a new technology, nearly every day. But that brings me back to the article - maybe it's just that I love technology but don't love the environment that I contend with in order to make my living at it. That's a bit different.

After 25 years making my living in technology, I'm going back to school for an MBA and may go on for a PhD. I enjoy Economics and Finance just as much at technology, and I appear to be pretty good at more than just 'IT'. As much as I hate being a statistic, I'm probably going to support the numbers pointing to the drop of Women in 'IT'. Does that mean I 'hate IT'?

No, maybe it just means I'd like to try something new...

When I landed my first job at IBM, right out of college, my father told me I was set for life and I'd never have to work for another company again. 'Cradle to grave' companies and a gold watch after 25 years... times have certainly changed. After 25 years in my field, I now look forward to the second half of my career. Working in 'IT' requires the ability to learn and absorb information quickly - I think it's an excellent preparation for my next career.

Me, I love 'IT' - technology is everywhere in my home, my life, my work, and family entertainment. Who wouldn't love it? Or, better yet, how could anyone hate it?