Sunday, December 8, 2019

Goodby Blogger, Hello Medium

I've had many twists and turns, pivots, sprints, crashes and burns in my career in tech - it remains a wild ride and an amazing profession.

It's given me a chance to speak, write and build. You can find a fairly comprehensive but incomplete anthology of my publications and speaking engagements here, on Medium, and today I've given myself the gift of a Medium publication called 'Technowoman' that will be the home for future adventures.

Since not everyone in my circle of family and friends can afford a subscription to Medium, I've published family and friends links here for those who would like to read about my ongoing adventures - the saga continues!


Those of you who have worked with me might remember me as the 'queen of TL;DR'; you wouldn't be surprised to hear that there's quite a bit more where this all came from.  I'll try to keep this up to date, and if you see something new pop up on the Technowoman publication in Medium, and you'd like a family and friends link, ping me anytime!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Before brogramming, table flipping, and beyond -

It wasn't always this way.  Where did we make that left turn into experienced, table flipping talent leaving the industry and the culture of brogramming scaring new talent away?

Women who have come to technology since the late 80's have never seen anything different - how sad is that.  I'm fortunate to have first hand experience that is has not always been this way.
Check this out:

This is a picture of a young woman, about 24 years old, working as a programmer at IBM in 1984.

This young woman loves programming and often ate Lorna Doones with coffee for lunch (and sometimes dinner).  She also wore a dress or skirt and suit jacket to work every day, and served as the technical team lead to an eight person programming team.

Yes, that's a microfiche reader on the credenza, and I had to use it...
Oh yeah, that's me.  Over 30 years ago. And I still love programming.

My team was terrific, we solved problems together, and I was responsible for the largest and most complex portion of the code.  I was a woman, and they weren't; it was no big deal. They all wore button down shirts and ties.  We had great fun, joked around, and on occasion I wore the 'Magic Moose' on my head (we were working on a system called 'CDF MAGIC').  We were successful.

This is a picture I like to keep in my head, as the existence proof that women can be happy and successful in programming and technology.

IBM treated me well; I went on to join the personal computer, 'shrink wrap' software industry and later became an application development consultant at Microsoft.  After wielding the Microsoft stack for many years I ventured into open source and Ruby on Rails.  I'm on an amazing journey.

So, what happened?
When did I start hearing silly things like 'you're not architecture material', 'you did surprisingly well on the programming test', and being openly berated for not wanting to 'step up' to a non-technical role?  When I talk to other women who hear similar things, we tend to say 'he means well, he's just unaware'.  Sometimes it's not malicious, sometimes it is.

Maybe we need to ditch the hoodies and go back to wearing dresses and button down shirts.  But then again, when you are at the flipping tables stage you're dealing with people in button down shirts.  I wish I had the answer.  I'd like to reclaim my profession and move past all this.

There is great excitement around building the pipeline and encouraging more women to take on careers in STEM.  I'm encouraged by that, but also have a nagging worry that we are only addressing one end of a pipeline that is broken at both ends.

The field of programming has become so broad and complex that no one can be deeply expert across the board.  You can be written off in an interview if you admit you don't know some low level technical detail that you do know in concept and have the ability to learn.  Or maybe you're just not a good 'team fit'.  It's tough to pass a brogrammer interview.  At the other end, it's too easy to push experienced technical women into 'project manager' and administrative roles, and eventually we flip the table.  Brogrammers at one end of the pipeline, flipped tables at the other.  No wonder there are not many women in-between.  It's a good puzzle to solve, and I do like to solve puzzles.

For now, I've decided to keep doing these things:

  • Teach people how to program (I love teaching, so it's a win-win)
  • Be patient with people who mean well but aren't aware they are perpetuating this rut we're in
  • Be part of the existence proof that women can be successful and happy in technology


Here are a few more for the 'existence proof' bucket:
I loved that lavender dress!


I'm not the booth babe - I installed this 9370 mini-mainframe, and crimped the coax cables to boot.
Table flipping and brogramming aside, I still love to write code.  I would love to see more women doing it, even if it means we all need to start wearing dresses and button down shirts again.  I haven't worn a dress to work in over 20 years but am willing to give it a try...

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Life's work in C# or G Flat (aka F#)

Whenever we talk to our sons about work or careers, I usually re-tell this short story:

"When I went to work for IBM, right after getting my undergraduate degree, my father told me I'd never have to work for another company again.  Over fifteen years later, when I was hired by Microsoft, I thought I'd reached the pinnacle of my career.  My father and I have both been known to be wrong at times."

We've explained the quaint concepts of 'cradle to grave' employment, being a 'company man', and the idea of pensions to our boys.  They are as fascinated as I am that my early years at IBM will (or may) result in a small pension, an ancient corporate ritual.  My parents gave me my work ethic and a glimpse at my father's career; it took many years for me to see that my own life's work marched to a different drummer.  I'd like to think that our boys will understand from the start that their life's work choices belong to them, and not to someone else's idea of success, or to an organization that provides a paycheck.

I still catch myself thinking in terms of a finite career instead of my life's work.  It's now been nearly another fifteen adventurous years since I thought I'd reached the pinnacle!  In my early days, I joined IBM as a programmer to write programs in 360 Assembly, Fortran and variants of PL/I; then, just prior to joining Microsoft I became one of the first 1000 programmers to become certified in C# as a 'Solution Developer'.  After learning C# I thought I'd never have to learn another programming language again.  I always did take after Dad.

This afternoon, after some technical gymnastics with Windows 8.1, I compiled my first Android application in F#.  So much for never needing to learn another programming language...
Although I'm a self professed data geek I still enjoy losing myself in a development environment (Xamarin Studio this time around).  Working with both code and data reminds me of the boys in a way; it doesn't make sense to say I enjoy one more than another and I'm happy to have them both in my work life.  After standing up the Hortonworks sandbox last month to grind through Hadoop tutorials, then slinging code in F# today, do I think I'll never have to learn another data platform or programming language?  Never say never...

If you are fortunate enough to find a trade or skill to call your life's work, it becomes a part of you that grows and changes as much as relationships with family or friends.  Cradle to grave employers and pensions aren't the reward.  Retirement doesn't apply; you continue to live, learn, and grow until you master your life's work on your own terms.  Since Dad kept busy with his life's work well past his 80th birthday, I think would have agreed; he and I were also both known to be right at times.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Leaning In, Counter Move


My calendar was clear on the afternoon before the July 4th holiday, so I decided to take the drive home from the plant in mid-afternoon heat to avoid the late-afternoon traffic.  Coming in from the garage-to-kitchen door, I plunked my laptop on the kitchen counter to reconnect, kicked off my shoes and shouted hellos to Bob and the boys.  Bob was at his desk, slaying some code demon for his Boston based team after having scooped up the boys from a day at summer camp.  The boys were lost in gaming, and shouted a quick 'Hi Mom'.  I live a fortunate life.
 
When I flipped open the laptop, my Lync icon was blinking on the task bar - usually that means someone is in trouble, needs something, or wants to vent.   This time, it was Denise asking if I'd read 'Lean In' (the Sheryl Sandberg book).  I wish I'd started the video on my Lync session because I'm curious what Denise would have made of the reaction on my face.  I don't get many Lync messages about interesting or somewhat controversial books, and I felt my mouth and forehead scrunch into a combination of surprise and wonder of where this could possibly be going. 

I let Denise know I'd heard of the book but hadn't read it yet; she let me know she had just finished and enjoyed it (and qualified that she also heard the scuttlebutt after the book was published).  Like so many things that Denise does well, she hooked me and I read the book over the weekend. 

This post is dedicated to Denise, with all respects to Sheryl Sandberg.

My husband Bob loves to say 'all facts come with a point of view', so it is fair to point out that I have nearly ten years on Sheryl, working in a male dominated career (technology).  Denise as best I can guess is a fair bit younger than Sheryl.  Denise and her husband are also expecting their first child in the fall, and she will also be transferring to work as a member my team within IT (she will be one of four or five women now in an organization of over sixty).  'Points of view' abound!

Ms. Sandberg tells us her book is not a memoir, not a self-help book, not a feminist manifesto, not career advice, but that she hopes it helps.  I can say the same about this blog post, but I'll add that what I think Ms. Sandberg has done is provide a description of her life as one example of how someone can manage their career and life.  It might be a model for some people, men or women, and not for others.  You could say the same about all the things that I write here as well (just slightly less profitable for me than Ms. Sandberg's book was for her).

But, getting on with it... what did I think of the book?

There are some areas of the book that I understand and accept, and I've known about for a long time.  Global statistics that tell me the percentages of women vs. men relative to management roles, pay, or other areas where the statistics reflect favorably on men don't mean much to me - I've heard them for a long time.  I now have two sons; sometimes I wonder if it really would be better if the numbers were reversed (they may be by the time my sons are at management or executive levels).  I'm more interested in people than women or men specifically, and I look forward to the day when it's not considered a big deal to be a COO or CIO who just happens to be a women, or gay, or has bright blue hair.  But I also understand that perceptions are a big deal, and life (and especially business) is not engineered to be what I personally consider to be 'fair'.

I respect the amount of introspection and life examination that it must take to write this type of book.  It does seem very personal to me (like a memoir), and I can understand that Ms. Sandberg must have realized that she did face a lot of what I call 'relative unfairness' in her career.  After ten, twenty, or thirty years in your career, once you realize how much 'relative unfairness' you may have faced along the way, it can be frustrating.  Writing about it in a blog or book can be a cathartic experience, and can help rationalize that the 'relative unfairness' you went through might help others avoid it.  It has to be healthy (and profitable, for Ms. Sandberg) to let the anger and frustration out as an altruistic gesture towards all women. 

'Relative unfairness' is where Ms. Sandberg might lose some people.  She is an extremely intelligent and fortunate woman, with an Ivy League education and exposure to powerful people who gave her incredible opportunities.  Of course she encountered relative unfairness along the way - we all do (men and women).  It's sometimes hard to relate to the specific examples and scenarios that she describes, because her point of view is from the top fraction of a percentage of people who have had her education and opportunities.

My parents gave me a work ethic and raised me to value career over marriage - I didn't have any pressure to produce grandkids, and I've always been ambitious about my career. When I hit a point of what I considered extreme 'relative unfairness' in my own career, I enrolled in night school for my MBA while working as a consultant during the day.  I'm incredibly fortunate to have had the resources for this and the support of my family.  Most everyone experiences some level of relative unfairness in their lives, especially if you have siblings, have gone to public schools, and definitely if you have been in the workforce for any period of time.  Some people live in extremely unfortunate and desperately unfair conditions.  We all handle it in our own ways, some better than others.

Bob and I talked about the book's claim that 'men are promoted on potential, and women are promoted on past performance'.  I don't have statistics to back me up on this, but I don't think this is specific to just men or women.  Both Bob and I are 'old school' and were raised to prove ourselves by demonstrating hard work and results - it's what we value.  Some people are just not wired for self promotion that is not based on past performance, and it's neither good nor bad.  I would not feel comfortable changing my approach to asking for promotions (I rely on my successful record of past achievements as evidence for the kind of value I can deliver when asking for more responsibility).  Bob is the same way - this isn't uniquie to my gender.  And, Bob correctly pointed out that both he and I would be happier if there were just fewer somewhat insecure or possibly sociopathic managers in the workforce, independent of gender.

If I sum the book up in a sentence, I would say that it advises us all to be ambitious in any pursuit.  I don't think anyone needs to be afraid or ashamed to follow this advice, whether its an ambition to stay home with a new baby, or to return back to the workforce as soon as she feels up to it.  I would rather see people be authentic and true to themselves than blindly ambitious at the expense of who they are (men or women).

Along my own winding career, I've collected books on leadership and now that I've read Ms. Sandberg's book I'll add it to the shelf.  Some of my favorites are:
  • 'Standing at the Crossroads: Next Steps for High Achieving Women' (Ruderman and Ohlott)
  • 'Primal Leadership' (Goleman, Boyatzis, McKee)
  • and, this section of the poem Desiderata:
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself.

Mainly, my first reaction now to someone 'leaning in' is to counter move with a backspin kick to the head.  This year I followed Bob and the boys in earning my black belt in Taekwondo, and it's given me a whole new perspective on people, management, and leadership.  I'm most successful when I'm myself. 

Be authentic, Denise, and you will always be successful-

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Super Smash Bros

My intrepid husband, Bob, and our youngest son, Erik, are off to Camp Thunderbird for two nights.  Camp Thunderbird is a fifth grade rite of passage; young campers blow off steam and bunk together in cabins before leaving elementary school behind for the trials of middle school.  Bob was a chaperone for this adventure two years ago with our oldest son, Alex, and plays an adult in the cabin for Erik's trip this year. 

This leaves my oldest son Alex to look after his aging mother and keep her out of trouble.  Alex will achieve the distinction of teenager this spring, and Bob gave him explicit instructions to engage me in some recreational activities to keep me away from the torrent of work email that I slog through on most evenings.  Having Alex at home without Bob and Erik is something like having two bachelors in the house; neither of us need much maintenance or care and we both are accustomed to riding the wave of conversation and entertainment from Bob and Erik.

Alex and I had a lovely dinner tonight (if I do say so myself), and Alex explained the pact he had made with his father.  My oldest son's analysis of how to keep his Mother entertained came down to whether it would be more difficult to teach me how to play DODA (Defense Of The Ancients, a spin off of World of Warcraft), or Super Smash Bros (a Nintendo Wii game).  We settled on Super Smash Bros as the easier game, given my mental blocks with most computer based games.  For some reason I have obstacles using a computer for recreation and only recently learned how to play and enjoy Fruit Ninja.  I may be the only person on the planet who has not played Angry Birds.

I was somewhat anxious about playing Super Smash Bros.   In normal play my two sons annihilate each other without prejudice, and the idea of playing the game at that level is a bit intimidating.  Alex turned out to be a great instructor; he let me pick a character (I picked Pikachu - I miss the Pokémon days), and he explained how to move and attack using the Wii controller.  Once I could operate a character, Alex suggested that we just play and forget about the goal to battle and kill each other, although I accidentally killed him a few times and won the first round.  Hooray for Mom!  I think?

In the second and third rounds I picked different characters and we played more than we battled, picking up different tools and weapons and laughing at the aftermath when we fired.  I didn't know what I was doing, but it was fun, I think?  I accidentally killed Alex a few times, and due to the nature of the game he wound up asking me to go ahead and kill him a few times.  Hooray for Mom!  I think?

It was getting late and time for bed; Alex relieved me of my lesson and made the observation that it was funny to play with me because I didn't like to kill him.  Whenever I accidentally killed him, I involuntarily exclaimed 'Oh, I'm sorry!'.  Thinking back on it though, I don't think he came after me once - so maybe he found it difficult to kill Mom.  Hooray for Mom!  I think?

Tomorrow night maybe we'll play cards...

Monday, January 2, 2012

Coming up for air...

Creating the title for a blog or a new post is part of the fun. The title 'Coming up for air' is a better description of this moment than the content of the post, but it seems appropriate for a post about titles. I've been drowning in the adventures of life and work since finishing my MBA, and wondering if I'd ever have time to blog again. The title 'Coming up for air' describes a moment, not content, not me. Titles are tricky that way.

At work, titles can be useful in some professions and more trouble than they are worth in others. In IT, titles almost never tell you anything about the skills and experience a person has or what that person might bring to the table. Even if someone has a 'senior' or 'managerial' title, does that mean they merely rose to the top in an environment that used out of date technology or manual processes? How does that seniority bring value in a role that requires rapid learning and adoption of new technologies?  What does some one's title really tell you in IT?

Don't get me wrong, I understand the social utility of a title and have asked for my fair share of important sounding titles (yes, I have an ego too).  As an IT consultant, a senior title is a marketing tool - it gives the customer the impression that the consulting company has sent you one of their best people (well, one of the best titled people).  I embraced the utility of titles as an IT consultant and did benefit from the marketing value. I was a technology mercenary, and did not have any trouble wearing the uniform (and the title) of the army for which I marched.

Within a corporate IT organization, it's less clear that IT titles really add much value. There could be a parallel to consulting titles for those IT roles that have face to face interaction with end users inside a company, but end users don't usually pay attention to the title of the person who resolves an issue. Titles might also have some value if they really reflected a person's responsibilities, but as a person who is responsible for multiple projects and systems, it's really hard to come up with any meaningful title in IT these days.  Technology has changed rapidly, and 'typical' IT titles have not kept up.

Titles in corporate IT do have meaning; I'm just questioning whether the meaning has much value.  Your title can quickly give people throughout the organization an instant understanding of your expected relative importance and authority. But, not everyone with a senior title delivers that expected value to the organization.  A person's title can also indicate their relative value within a department - for example, if three people report to manager X, while two of the people have Senior titles and the third does not, there is a natural conclusion that the third person has less responsibility or experience, or delivers less value.  But, the seniority implied by some one's title is fragile.  Eventually, the impressions are either backed up, or contradicted, by what the individual delivers to the organization.  If someone with an important title 'flips the bozo bit', their formal title does not matter.

Looking back at my own career, I've had some nice formal (boring) titles: Architect (twice), Director, Advisory Programmer, Vice President (once with a 'Senior' embellishment), Manager of this or that a couple of times.  In managing my career, I now have to be careful of whether my past titles might make me look 'overqualified' or 'non technical'.  What a pain.  For the first half of a technical career you fight for titles, and the second half you try to escape them, like some kind of handcuffs.  Fortunately, I've been able to find roles that allow me to enjoy learning about and applying technology where I don't need the 'instant authority' of a title in order to get things done.  If the company I work for sees utility in a particular title, I wear the uniform, title, and authority of the army I choose to march for.  Regardless of my title, I am comfortable working through influence, communication, and knowledge when I don't have formal authority based on a title.  I manage people, but don't need the word 'Manager' in my title in order to do that.

The more interesting titles I've had are the informal names that I've been called along the way: Queen of the Island of Misfit Toys, Agent of Change, Cleaner (as in the Harvey Keitel character in Pulp Fiction), Counselor Troy (although trust me, I do not look anything like Harvey Keitel or Counselor Troy).  I've been called a few other names I can't publish here, but none as interesting as one I've been called twice now in my career: 'Mom'.  In my first job as a software development team lead at IBM, the team started calling me Mom; it's come up again in the past couple of years. Talk about having a high level of influence without formal authority; who needs formal authority when nobody likes to disappoint Mom?  I do enjoy working with organizations that are evolving and maturing, or 'growing up', so maybe I am something of an organizational Mom.

Maybe we should stop worrying about titles in IT and give everyone some kind of avatar instead.  What kind of avatar would I choose for myself, and what would our organization chart look like if all the boxes were replaced with avatars of the roles that were needed in the organization?  Or what if we chose the avatars for all the people we worked with; our own custom view of the individuals on our teams?  We can pick ring tones for people, so why not avatars?  Or, maybe we should all adopt position names instead of titles, something like a football team.  Being a member of the 'Special Teams' squad sounds interesting.  I can hear my friends in HR groaning now. 

At the end of the day, the company I work for does not exist to make me happy about what I'm called; they need to return value to the shareholders (of which I am one).  For that, I'm happy to wear the uniform, title and authority of the army I march for.  When I want to fuss over a title, I just create a new blog post and give it any title I choose.

Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Commencing

To commence is to begin.

I'd never thought about it before - the ceremony that marks the end of years of study, homework and exams is called commencement.  Not the end, but the beginning...



A little over three years ago, I decided to take the GMAT (Graduat Management Admission Test) and apply to UNC Charlotte's Belk College of Business as an MBA student.  I thought an MBA would bring some closure to a thread in my career.  After three years of night school, I can say that I've sorted things out, so I do have a sense of closure or completion.  But, at the same time, I'm 'commencing' not finishing.  Time to get on with things-

Towards the end of my final semester the university issued a call for student commencement speakers; all graduating students (undergraduate, graduate, and PhD candidates) were eligible to submit a draft five minute speech.  I took them up on the offer, and made the 'short list', but the panel chose a young undergraduate who was a bit less jaded...  She was an excellent speaker; I admit that it was nice to see a young face at the podium, looking out on her horizion as a freshly minted graduate.

But, I did enjoy taking the time to write down a five minute perspective on my journey as an MBA student - my unspoken commencement speech is below:

Today I will receive my Masters Degree in Business Administration from the Belk College of Business. I started the program three years ago in January, as an evening student and working mother of two. My two sons, Alex and Erik, ages nine and seven, and their father Bob are here today so I want to thank them for getting by without Mommy for two nights a week for the past three years. You guys are the best!

I’ve worked in Technology for over 25 years now, beginning my career as a software engineer at IBM, and working for many other companies along the way. Like most people in technology, I like to figure out how things work, and that’s what led me to the MBA program. A little over three years ago, I managed a large IT team for a company that had grown through acquisitions to be third largest in its industry. I was part of the M&A team, and evaluated our acquisitions’ technology assets and contracts.  As a result, in early 2006 my husband and I stood on skis at the rim of the back bowls at Aspen, along with a private ski guide provided by our generous hosts, Bear Stearns, to celebrate the close of a successful deal.  You may have heard that Bear Stearns is no longer hosting these types of events...

Later that spring, the company’s stock fell 75% in a single day, and let’s just say life got interesting. I was just an IT manager, and even though I managed our operational and financial systems I didn’t really understand the company’s finances.  After things got just a little too interesting, I left the company and decided to go back to school and get my MBA to figure out ‘what happened’.

 I think that being curious, or in my case, having a desire to ‘figure something out’ and a time based goal are great motivators.  I didn’t pursue my MBA because I wanted to ‘be something’, like a financial analyst. I started the program because I wanted to learn something, and figure out how companies manage their finances (or don’t).  My success comes from my own knowledge and understanding, and is not dependent on getting a job with a particular title.  Believe me, it’s always nice to get a job in your desired field, but having a job doesn’t define me, and not having one doesn’t take away my success.

As for my achievements and activities as a student, I’m thrilled to graduate with highest honors today.  For my sons Alex and Erik in the audience, this means I got a lot of A’s!  I owe some of that to my goals, which kept me focused.  I wrote several of my term papers about the company that inspired me to get my MBA, and I do think I’ve ‘figured things out’.  I also have to thank my parents for passing along some of their intelligence; my GMAT scores resulted in merit scholarships, and I am very grateful to UNC Charlotte for those awards.  Through the Belk College, I volunteered as a student escort for business leaders who taped a panel discussion with Charlie Rose called ‘Southern Roots, Global Vision’, interviewed Erkine Bowles, and had breakfast with Cynthia Marshall, President of AT&T Carolinas.  I took advantage of career coaching, and gained a whole new circle of friends with all sorts of backgrounds, from all sorts of industries.  I’ve enjoyed every minute of it all.

In closing, I’m not sure you really need to hear more advice from someone who may be old enough to be your Mother (or who is your Mother, for Erik and Alex), but I can share something that I learned from watching my two sons play online role playing games, one of their favorite pastimes. In their online adventure games, there’s always another quest, and always another level.  Sometimes the only thing you need to do is stay in the game, and another quest appears.  And, the only way to get to the next level is to stay in the game.  I’m now off to my next quest, and hope to see many of you again in my travels.  Thank you for your time – thank you UNC Charlotte, and congratulations graduates!

Let the wild rumpus begin!